Sidle Over and Hunker Down

The End of Unemployment - 2012 Edition

Yeah, it's been a while. I didn't realize it had been three months since I posted something here. After doing the last Skyrim webcomic I just haven't been feeling the desire to draw much. I was stressing out. I lost my last job back in November. (I keep meaning to write down that story.) I've been unemployed for almost eight months. That's not a good thing.

I've already burned through my savings. Unemployment benefits don't cover much. It's been getting to the point where I've been using credit cards to pay for things I shouldn't have. I've been looking at the 401k... wondering if it's time to tap that, too. I haven't yet.

I don't mean to sound like it's been the end of the world. It's not like that at all. It has been stressful going on interviews, getting all excited about a job I think I'm going to get... and then not getting it. That's happened several times. It'll be down to me and a couple of other people. I get second interviews, and then I found out they went with someone else. Or worse, most of these companies never bother to call back at all. I guess I'm supposed to assume after a week or three that I just didn't get the job. That has been a very unfun emotional rollercoaster. And it's something else I've been meaning to write about but never got around to.

Yesterday I got a call from a headhunter agency. I've talked to them dozens of times, and I've went on interviews for them a few times. This time they had a job for me that won't require yet another interview! I'm going downtown and starting work tomorrow!

Now I'm a bit nervous because it's been eight months since I've done any desktop support. I'm feeling very, very rusty. I don't really know anything about this job yet. I think I'll be a part of a small team that are all employed by the headhunter agency. I just spent the last couple of hours updating my USB flash drive with all my desktop support tools.

I do plan on writing and posting a lot more soon. My loyal sidekick has me working on another webcomic project, and I actually have some new art to post soon. It's about time for the next movies list. I've been to a few more cheeseburger joints, and I need to write those reviews. Now that I'm working again, I won't feel like everything besides looking for a job is a waste of time! It already feels like a major relief.

Wish me luck.

~TS

On Being Laid Off - Part 2

Today is one week since I was laid off. I've only had three real interviews. One was for a call center phone support job that I turned down. Another was for a desktop support project management job that would have been the next level for me. And the most recent was for a regular plain ol' desktop support job at a massively ginormous company.

I never should have written that bit about just wanting a desktop support job because that was the one that offered me a position... not that I really think those two things are linked in any way. The project management position wanted someone with a bit more project management apparently, even though when I was sent in for the interview and during the interview I was told that they wanted someone with more desktop support experience and the project management side would be on-the-job training.

So I got to glimpse at the Next Level. I would have made 140% more monies. Granted, it was also a contract-to-hire position, but as far as I can tell there aren't any more Real Jobs out there. Everything is contract or contract-to-hire. Companies don't want to pay unemployment insurance, and contract positions are their loophole. But I called the headhunter that set up the interview a couple of times yesterday and today, and he finally called me back. He said they wanted to interview more people for the position, and there was really no telling how long it would be before they made a decision. He told me I was still in the running for the job... for what that's worth. So I could sit around and hope that they would settle for me.

Or I could go ahead and accept the position that was offered to me. I am pretty good at interviewing. I can charm people, and I'm just tech savvy enough to be dangerous... but I don't know how well I'm going to work in such a large environment. I've never done anything like this before. I tend to be a hands-on guy, and the job I accepted is still going to be primarily phone support since they have the IT department segregated into one building away from the Real Job employees. I'll be able to remote into systems to fix problems. I'll have to deal with taking extensive notes in a ticketing system... something I haven't had to do in about six years. I'm not really looking forward to it, but it's a job. Everyone keeps going on and on about how difficult it is to find a job "in this economy", so I guess I should be grateful it was this easy to find one... even if it's not the one I wanted.

Now I have no insurance benefits at my job (fortunately, I have insurance with My Lady's company, but the insurance at her job sucks ass... typical for an insurance company to fuck over its employees), and I'll be taking a 15% reduction in pay. At least I won't have insurance coming out of my paycheck, but insuring both of us on My Lady's insurance is more expensive... and doctor's visits and prescriptions will also be more expensive. At least I won't have a 401k coming out of my paycheck, but that's a bad thing... I need to be saving for retirement! Hmmm. Well, at least it's almost exactly the same distance from home. That's something. And I might get a chance to learn some new things. Actually, I'll have to be learning quickly. And there will be much more stress in this environment than I had supporting less than a hundred people at my last job.

I guess I should have stayed on top of my business classes. Maybe if I'd already taken some high level management classes, I would have had a chance to get into project management. Then I might be all excited about the project management job instead of bitching about the desktop job (that I recently wrote about wanting!)

*sighs*

Who knows. Maybe I'll get there and it'll be awesome. Maybe some small company that needs a sole desktop support guy will call.

Oh, there's something funny, by the way. The contract I signed with the headhunting agency today when I accepted the job included some lines about how I could not continue looking for another position while working for them. Yeah... fuck that. It's going to be tons more difficult to find a position while I'm working, but I'm not going to stop looking. I'll just have to be careful not to apply to anything with this same headhunting agency... which might be difficult since they're pretty pervasive. I'll have to be very, very careful.

Unless I find something better before then, I start next Tuesday.
~TS

A Bizzy Day

My Lady took the day off with me, and it's a good thing, too. We had a lot to do today. We got up early to do laundry. While My Lady would rather have a washer and dryer, I rather like being able to knock out a week's worth of laundry in an hour and a half. Besides, we won't have a washer and dryer until we have a house.

But we went to do laundry looking forward to a treat. Back when I was working (oh so very long ago... of last week) I had to leave too early for this particular treat, so I was really looking forward to it. Today, we went to Fuzzy's for breakfast!

I must confess I would never have requested, injested or even suggested shrimp for breakfast before today, but most of the breakfast foods at Fuzzy's have bacon in them. I don't eat the swine. It's a filthy animal. (Actually, it's a food allergy.) So as I perused the menu, the egg and shrimp breakfast burrito caught my eye. And I have no idea why, but I decided to get a bit experimental. I guess I've been experimental lately. For the last week, I haven't drank a carbonated, caffeinated soda... just as an experiment to see if I would get headaches from caffeine addiction withdrawal. I didn't. So that was Experimental Success #1.

The egg and shrimp breakfast burrito from Fuzzy's was Experimental Success #2. That huge thing was awesome! (That's what she said!) So if anyone ever looks at you funny for suggesting shrimp for breakfast, you slap them silly! And if you're looking at your screen funny because I'm suggesting it, then you better slap yourself silly! 'Cuz that was some good stuff! Slap yo' mamma good.

My Lady had the bacon and egg taco plate, and they were seriously generous with that as well. She said she was starving when we got there, and still she wasn't able to finish it. I asked her just now to describe it, and all she kept saying was, "Awesome!"

After Fuzzy's we had to run to my old job. I had a lot of paperwork to fill out and send in. A company lets you go, and there's a lot of CYA involved. I notice from what I read that is was mostly their A and not mine, but the paperwork was required if I wanted my severance and retention bonus.... so it's was all signed, initialled, dated, copied, and overnighted back to the Home Office. I got one last chance to say goodbye to a few people I'll probably never see again. Hopefully I'll see one or two again... maybe in a Laser Tag arena or a comic convention or something. I guess we'll see.

Then another mad dash to My Lady's eye appointment. Over the holiday weekend, she went and scratched her own eye out. Well, not that bad, but she gave herself a corneal abrasion by way of fingernail into the eyeball while trimming her eyebrows. She's lucky it was her finger instead of the tweezers! I know exactly how she felt, though. Once upon a time, long ago I had one, too. I was standing behind a girlfriend that ran her fingers through her hair and ran a fingernail right into my eye! I ended up having laser surgery to remove the scar tissue that kept attaching to the inside of my eyelid when I slept. All that to say I know how she felt, and it really sucked knowing I couldn't do anything for her. I took her to one of those doc-in-a-box places since it happened on the Sunday before the holiday, and they gave her some antibiotics to keep it from getting infected. The ophthalmologist visit today was to make sure it was healing okay, and the doctor seemed to think everything was fine. So that was some very good news!

Then another rush to get a haircut, and I send My Lady off with my Target credit card to pick up a new larger ironing board. She was complaining that her current ironing board was too small to be ironing my dress shirts. I think that may be her way of saying I need to lose weight, but for now I had to get ready. This afternoon: Another interview!

One of the headhunting agencies I've been talking to for a while, one I'd actually worked for over ten years ago in fact, called me last week about a contract job. It's not much more than setting up a bunch of new computers for a bunch of new employees, but it might be a foot into this company. And it seems to be a good company. On my drive to the interview, I saw not a building but a campus! There was a track, and a sand volleyball court! A sand volleyball court!!

I think the interview went well. The headhunters said that this would not be a technical interview, but they were wrong. I'm pretty good at interviews, if I may say so myself. I was able to give these guys a couple of pretty good answers, and the funny bit... the ones they were most impressed with were the ones that showed off my tech-savvy is a bit archaic. Every time they asked a question, I gave command line answers.

"How do you map a network share?"

"Net use drive letter colon, backslash-backslash server name backslash share name."

"Yeah, I guess you could do it that way. Uhm, how do map a printer?"

"Same way, except with LPT... [noticing confusion on the techie interviewers' faces] or you could just browse to the printer server and double-click the shared printer's name there."

"Okay, so let's say someone calls in and they can't connect to the network. What's the first thing you check?"

"I had this happen not too long ago. Check under the desk to make sure the user hasn't kicked the CAT-5 loose. Then make sure it's still connected to the NIC in the back of the computer."

"And if it's connected, but they still can't get on the network?"

"Bring up a command line and do IPCONFIG /ALL"

"What would that tell you?"

Well, so far it's telling me that you guys depend entirely too much on your GUIs. "It'll tell me if the system has successfully acquired an IP address from the domain and when. You can also use it to release and renew its IP address or even flush the DNS."

"And what would you do if none of that worked?"

Give'em the answer they're actually looking for instead of leading them through the troubleshooting process I would actually use. "I'd bring up the computer properties, switch to the hardware tab, and then look at the Device Manager to see if the ethernet card had a little exclamation point next to it." And then their eyes light up. They know how to right-click on an icon and go to the properties window. I can already tell my last few months of trying to learn Linux command line stuff would be wasted here. But hey... sand volleyball court!

All in all, I think the interview went well, but on the way out I reminded the headhunter that I'm still waiting to hear back from the last major interview. I should hear back from them by Thursday. And if I get that one... that'll be a Level Up for me! So while I don't expect it at all, I can still hope. Who knows... maybe they'll settle for me. I know I would bust my ass for them if they gave me a chance, and that's saying something. I don't like to bust my ass. I prefer my ass sans-busted.

So there's that. Another potential job, and I gave a little bit of resistance to'em... which, from my experience, means they'll probably try to woo me. Oh, if only I had done that with the job I really wanted instead... but I really wanted it, goddamn it. My poker face sucks. Apparently, I hold cards where everyone can see'em while I have a lemon in my mouth. It's not a pretty picture.

But I did get home to some awesome news! My Lady got a job she's been hoping for since she first got her current job!! She's been doing grunt call-center work for almost a year now, and she's an underwriter... or she used to be. But now she's working her way up the ladder again. I'm so proud of her! I know she'll do well. She rocks! And she is becoming Administrati.

In celebration, we ordered Papa John's, and I had my first decaffeinated carbonated soda in a week. You can't eat pizza and drink water, so I had a Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper.  Hey, it's a celebration! So if you see My Lady on the Facebooks (or hopefully soon on Google+) be sure to congratulate her on her new job.

So now I'm trying to spend my evening relaxing and watching Star Trek: the Next Generation on Netflix, but my stupid fucking ISP is making it nearly impossible to watch! Every few minutes the screen blacks out and I get to watch the red bar grow. Oh, Ygnition, how I hate you. Let me count the ways. It took over an hour and a half to watch a forty-five minute episode. I just grabbed my phone and played Peggle while it loaded. Commercial breaks would be better...

So, wish me luck on the call-backs. Tomorrow, My Lady goes back to work. I don't think she'll be starting her new job immediately, but I'll be doing some serious job hunting tomorrow. Monster, ComputerJobs, Dice, CareerBuilder and LinkedIn, here I come. *sighs*

G'night, y'all!

~TS

On Being Laid Off

Today was my last day at the job. Another month and a half would have made it three years. It was kind of strange actually having a warning. I've been laid off a few times before, but this is the first time I knew when it would happen.

For the last couple of months, I've been trying to find the next job. So far, all I've found is contract work through headhunters. I've been offered everything from three week contracts to year and a half long contracts. Most of the jobs I had already found wanted me to start before this job ended, but that wasn't going to happen. There's severance and a retention bonus, so I had to see it out to the bitter end. Well, not that bitter. The last couple of months were actually quite pleasant for me. Aside from the stress of trying to find a job that started as soon as this one ended (in which I failed) once the servers were moved to the home office and people started leaving, I really didn't have nearly as much to do. I actually got some writing and drawing done. I hope I'm able to continue that, but I doubt I can when I start whatever new job I find. Always have to bust your butt for a while at the new job. I've been spoiled.

I'm not going to talk too much about the job I got laid off from today because I don't have my severance package or my retention bonus yet. Once I have those safe and sound in my bank account, I may be a bit more open about it. But for now, I'd like to tell you a bit about some of my previous lay-offs.

Once upon a time... well, actually about ten years ago now, I was hired by this one company to do desktop support. I don't want to say their name either just in case they have lawyers scouring the interwebs for just such things, so instead I will tell you that they are represented by a Bay Area pyramid. Not too long ago, there was a movie named after that company. I'm sure some of my previous management and a few of my coworkers were featured in it, but I haven't seen it to be sure.

This movie poster may or may not be related to the company featured in this story...

I met My Lady at that company, but that's a different story for a different time. For now, I'll keep the topic on my layoff and some of the surrounding events. First a little setup: As I mentioned, I was desktop support. I was one of a team of three desktop support guys. We had recently lost one of our number, and so one of the three was a New Guy. The other member of the team was kind of a Creepy Guy with a real temper problem. Along with our team, there were two Help Desk types, an Exchange Admin Guy, a Phone Guy, and our boss, a stick-in-the-mud Fuddy Duddy.

Stick-in-the-mud, you ask? Let me explain: I was hired by and worked for a really cool guy from South Louisiana for a couple of years before Fuddy Duddy came on the scene. What I didn't know about South Louisiana was that he had some side-business where he was selling services and supplies to the company, and our VP/CIO/hardass knew about it. Honestly, I think they were in on a deal together, but I guess that was never proven. So South Louisiana was asked to leave before they fired him, and Fuddy Duddy was his replacement. Back then I had a pretty massive collection of action figures that I had decorating my cubicle. It was almost all of the first three Movie Maniacs series (except the obvious NSFW ones) and some various other toys. They had been in my cubicle without any complaints for well over a year when Fuddy Duddy started. And I would have known if there were any complaints. Our massive HR Lady was very, very, very quick to judge and very vocal about anything that displeased her.

I think it was the second or third day Fuddy Duddy was in the office when he told me I'd have to take all my toys home. He said they were unprofessional. So my cubicle went from looking like the basement in IT Crowd to standard, plain, gray walls.

Over time, I'd bring one or two toys in and switch them out so as not to overwhelm the normals. Those were pretty good days. They were even better days when I started talking to My Lady! I was working, getting stuff done, fixing computers, fixing printers, moving stuff from place to place... There was a LOT of just moving people from one cubicle to another. It was seriously fucking ridiculous. So, I'm just trekkin' along thinking nothing is wrong when suddenly...

I get fired!

I hadn't done anything wrong! I didn't know what the hell was going on. I was just escorted out one day, and I was told that HR would contact me.

The next day after I was laid off, My Lady and about four hundred other employees were taken to the church next to the building where we worked, and everyone was given one of three colored cards. By the end of the meeting, they found out that one color meant you were laid off that day, one color was short-term "transitional" and the last color was "indefinite". To say people were freaking the fuck out would be a slight understatement.

So HR contacts me, and I go to the office... but HR meets me on the ground floor and take me into a meeting room I'd never even seen before. (It didn't have a computer in it, and I didn't ever get into any real trouble, so I had never been there before.) There was a younger, gay HR Guy there that I had been teaching to use Microsoft Publisher and helping him do the company newsletter. I thought we were kind of buddies, but he started playing Bad Cop on me. And some guy I'd never seen before from The Mother Company Corporate Office was there, too. He was playing Good Cop. Considering how funny the little gay HR Guy was in his new role as tough guy... they really should have switched roles. I didn't know this other guy, so he really should have been Bad Cop. And once they started asking questions and I realized what was going on, I told them as much. Corporate Guy thought that was pretty funny, and I could tell that HR Guy was trying to suppress giggles and stay serious and stern with me.

The story, as they told it, was that I had hacked into some VP's email, found out about the layoff, and was going around warning people that they were soon to be jobless.

I readily admitted that, if I had known about the layoff, I would have been warning people. I didn't think it was right that they were all secretive, and they were pretty much fucking with peoples' lives. But I also told them that I had nothing to do with any email hack, I didn't know, and I hadn't warned anyone. They didn't seem to believe me at first, and we went over the complete lack of a story several times.

So I started asking them questions. "Who was warned?" Couldn't tell me. "Who did they say warned them?" They said it was 'that IT guy'... so naturally they assumed it was me out of the THREE desktop support guys. I'll admit, since I easily had the most personality out of the entire fucking IT department, I was probably the one person that everyone at that company knew by name. I wore Spiderman club shirts because they fit the company dress-code of a button-down shirt with a collar, and HR Lady hated that. I was always the guy that would come and save the day when a computer was dying. Back then I was a bit slimmer and had a long ponytail. Everyone knew who I was. Nobody knew New Guy, and nobody wanted to know Creepy Guy.

So they told me they would investigate some more. Apparently, they believed me when I said I didn't do it. They didn't like that I said I would have warned people, but they believed me that I did not hack any email. They asked a lot of questions, and I explained that I could have gotten that information if I'd wanted to... or if I'd even known it was there, which I didn't. But I would not have had to hack anything. VPs in general were stupid, and everyone at that company was bad about leaving their systems unlocked. (When I saw an unlocked computer, I usually made it a point to write a quick letter of resignation and leave it on the desktop unsent for them to see. Eventually, users would learn to lock their systems.) I guess that was enough for them.

I was called to come back after a few days. Apparently, they found out it wasn't me. I was still getting laid off, but now I would get a severance package and all that good stuff. I didn't get fired, but I was still getting laid off. I had to come back yet another time for an exit interview and to get my monies. And I had to promise them I wouldn't tell anybody about it, but I figure it's been long enough.

I found out later that New Guy was the one desktop support guy that kept his job... for a while, anyway. I told HR Lady and Fuddy Duddy that if they'd kept me, I would have stayed on for as long as they wanted (which I think my current track record proves) and I had the most seniority of the group... but I think that's what killed my job there. I was probably getting paid quite a bit more than New Guy. Hilariously, he jumped ship not too long after that. Douchebag. I can't say I blame him, but he was still a douchebag.

But that leaves an obvious answer for who actually did the alleged hacking and going around warning people. Good ol' Creepy Guy.

So that's how I got laid off from the Pyramidy Company's red-headed stepchild office in a rosy building here in Texas.

I've been wondering if I should contact them and ask if they're looking to hire a desktop support guy. The company has kinda made a bit of a comeback from what I hear. Ol' Fuddy Duddy is now a couple of levels up the management chain, so I wouldn't be answering to him directly. Unfortunately, the big ol' HR Lady is still there, and she never did like me. Once she told me I had to stop wearing my club shirts (even though they fit the dress-code in the employee manual) because they were "outside of good taste"... to which I replied there were quite a few obese women wearing certain fashions that they really, really shouldn't be wearing. She didn't like that because she _was_ one of those women.

So fuck'em. I'll find something else.

I've got another couple of layoff stories, but this is probably the most interesting one.

I'm off to bed. I don't have to get up early tomorrow, but I do plan on having a Lord of the Rings marathon since I just got'em on bluray. I've already got an interview set up for Tuesday, and I hope to hear back from the job I really want by Thursday of next week.

~TS

Sharp Dressed Man

I almost didn't make it to the computer in time to write this...

Yesterday, I had an interview with a recruiter about a job. After my rant about jobs that had nothing to do with desktop support, I get a recruiter with a job that is not desktop support... but still I want it. This job takes me to the next level. This job has me answering directly to a VP of a major petroleum company and directing a team (or possibly many teams) of desktop support guys in the field. This job is middle management!(If the recruiter is to be believed, anyway...)

I don't think I have a snowball's chance in Texas.

So after I met with the recruiter in his office (and was pleasantly surprised to find out that he owns his own recruiting business! Not just another headhunting chain meat-grinder for contracting...) he forwards my resume along with a few good words to this VP.

Today, I get the call: VP wants to meet me. Tomorrow morning. Wear a suit.

Wear a suit?! I don't have a fucking suit!! I have the very nice jacket I wore when I married My Lady. I have dress pants and slacks out the wazzoo. Well, I do have one suit... my pimp suit I bought for last Halloween. I don't think that would be ideal.

I told my boss I needed to go buy a suit for an interview. He sent me on my way with best wishes. (He's getting laid off, too.) Off to Men's Wearhouse I go not knowing what the fuck I'm going to get, what to expect, what I'll be spending... nuthin'. I was probably the salesman's wet dream come true.

To set the scene, I was wearing black dress pants, slip-on Sketchers (that look like dress shoes if you don't know any better) and my gray Dell shirt. When I walked in, I said, "I have an interview tomorrow. It's for a management position. I'm just a techie guy, and I've never worn a suit. Help me."

I have to admit, the guy that helped me was awesome. He was really busting his ass. If you're ever looking to buy something snazzy and you're in the North Dallas area around 635 and MacArthur, talk to Moe. He's the man.

He measured me up, and started walking around. While he's gathering the goods, I checked my lowest interest rate credit card to see how much I had left on it. Moe gets back with about two or three grand of stuff, and I tell him we need to take it down a notch. I've got $1,100 to work with. And Moe really surprised me. He set it up so that I got two suits and two very nice ties to match either suit for just over $900. The two suits were regularly $700 each, but Men's Wearhouse has a deal going on right now... buy one suit (or jacket or whatever) and a second one of equal or lesser value is $100.

So now I have the nice pinstriped navy blue suit (which I'll be wearing tomorrow) and another charcoal gray suit (that I'll be wearing on my first day, FSM willing I get the job!) I promised Moe that if/when I get the job, I'd be back to buy two more suits from him. I have a feeling this is the type of job where I'll need these sorts of clothes.

It's funny... I never saw myself wearing a suit every day. I'm a t-shirt and jeans guy. Still, even as excited as I am about this job, I absolutely hate the idea of dressing up all the time... but the pay rate for this job is more than I've ever made before. It's enough that we'll be looking to buy a home (with a really good down payment) in less than a year.

And that's pretty awesome.

I can be in disguise for that. Shit, I'm already in disguise every day now... this is just a more expensive costume.

I'm off to bed for a five hour nap before I get up to get ready for this. I'm going to be in downtown Fort Worth tomorrow morning. Anyone know where the good parking is close to the convention center?

Wish me luck! May His Noodly Appendage guide me tomorrow.

~TS

What Part of #*$% Desktop Support Do You Not #*$%ing Understand?!?

Still on the job hunt. I have nine days until I am laid off. If I count it as some of my co-workers suggest, I have seven working days until I am laid off. After the initial panic wore off, I felt a bit of gratitude for the warning. Now I'm realizing that knowing about impending doom is a bit more stressful than being surprised by it.

I had been trying to get active in the job hunt for about two months now, but every time I started making some headway... "Sorry, but we cannot wait two months to bring you on board. Can you put in your two week notice?" Uhm, no. My current employers are offering me a retention bonus for staying until they want me to go, and it's enough money that I cannot ignore it. That's above and beyond the severence pay... which really isn't all that great since I've only been there for just under three years.

Everyone is complaining about the bad job market right now, but I've been getting a lot of phone calls. The problem so far is that all these calls have been from headhunters. The polite term is recruiter or maybe third party recruiter. Now don't get me wrong. I've known some perfectly good headhunters. I even count one headhunter among my friends. (Does that sound like the racist guy saying he has a black friend?) He owns his own headhunting company and does very well for himself... even if he hasn't found me a job lately.

Headhunters tend to be a bit too excited. They make their money by getting you a job. I believe they get more money by placing you in contract work. It's probably the same as the doctor and the pharmacist making more money by giving you the long drawn-out treatment instead of a one-time cure for a disease, but that's a different bit of paranoia. Anyway, it seems like lately every headhunter that has called me has only wanted to talk about contract work. Considering my recent history with "permanent" jobs, I am going to be more open about long-term contracts, I think. My last three "permanent" jobs lasted four years, just under a year and almost three years. I told one headhunter today that these "permanent" jobs are about as permanent as a woman's hair perm. *insert cheesy laugh track here* I'm sure he'll use that joke later to help promote some long-term contract he's pushing.

But here's my real beef right now. Out of all these friggin' headhunters that have been calling me, not a SINGLE ONE has wanted to talk to me about a desktop support position!! I know there are desktop support positions out there. I see them all over Monster.com, Dice.com and CareerBuilder.com. But the jobs they've been calling me about are either help desk (which, career-wise, is a step down for me) or phone tech support (which I really just don't want to do) or something else entirely. I got two calls from different headhunters about this one position with a gas company that just got bought by a bigger gas company. They're consolidating their systems, and they want someone to take base systems, install software, check it out, document it, then install other software, check it out, document it, compare the two and decide if one should be kept over the other if there are overlaps, etc.etc.etc. (This is NOT desktop support.) The first headhunter emails me back after our first face-to-face interview to tell me their client has "changed direction on the desktop position." It was after that when I received the call from the second headhunter about the revised position. When I told the second headhunter about the first headhunter, he went on about how he knew of some other position in that same company under a different manager, and he's going to forward them my resume for that. I'm supposed to meet with him tomorrow. Goodie.

And still... none of that has anything to do with the type of job I'm actually looking for!!

I just turned down a job from a headhunter I worked for once before... many, many, many years before. He was surprised that I remembered him. He thinks I have an excellent memory, but I only remember that short-term contract because it was one of the jobs that led me to NOT wanting to do short-term contract work any more! How long ago, you ask? We were replacing token-ring cards with new ethernet cards and updating the drivers on Windows 95 and NT systems to handle the new cards. Yeah, that long ago. So the job he found me recently... a call-center doing technical support for a major chain of pawn shops. (Also, not desktop support.)

I did learn a very important lesson, and I'll have to be very careful to keep this lesson from backfiring on me. When I went to the face-to-face interview with the tech manager I would actually be working for, I apparently really impressed him. When I told my headhunter I really didn't want to work in a call center doing phone support, he offered me more money. When I told him I didn't want to do contract-to-hire, they offered to make it a permanent position. But I ended up telling him absolutely no today. On top of the phone support issue, it was also a rotating schedule... and me and My Lady are a bit too codependent for that. I don't think I could handle not seeing her in the evening for two months in a row... or not being able to see her on weekends for two months in a row. Fuck that. (Honestly, I don't know why a well-staffed call center couldn't just have certain people on certain schedules, but I've never managed a call center so what the fuck do I know, right? Whatever.) But the lesson, in case you didn't catch it, is to act like you don't want a job. Then they'll keep sweetening the deal. I'm sure there's some level where they'll abandon the deal or call your bluff or whatever. I may have to experiment a bit with that. Oh, and I asked the call center manager guy if they had a desktop support team on-site... and they do! If they are really that interested in me, you'd think they could hire me for that instead!! *sighs*

And I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster if I get another email from a "regional sales coordinator" from an insurance company looking to hire insurance agents I will fucking cut somebody. I'd really better install a game where I can do that... best way to keep me from doing it in real life. Can I get a first person shooter with targets like a Farmer and an Aflac duck? That would be awesome. I send these asswipes a response that I would be happy to do desktop support in their corporate offices or even among the offices of their individual agents, but I never get a response... but wait a few days and another canned "My name is Douche Nozzle, and I am a Regional Sales Buttmunch for Bendover & Taykit Insurance. We are looking for licensed Insurance Agents.... blah-blah-fucking-blah" email shows up. Ya know, it doesn't say anywhere on my resume that I've ever been an insurance agent or salesperson. Granted, I have worked for a couple of insurance companies... AS A FUCKING DESKTOP SUPPORT TECH!!

I would be totally happy if one of these headhunters called me to say they knew of a company hiring entry-level Linux administrators. I have some of that on my resume, too. But mostly, I just wanna be able to walk to someone's desk and fix the problem. It's what I do. It's what I'm good at. It's what I like.

This feels like that bit Mitch Hedberg did. He was talking about being a comedian in Hollywood.

When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do things besides comedy. They say, 'OK, you're a stand-up comedian -- can you act? Can you write? Write us a script?'... It's as though if I were a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, they said, 'All right, you're a cook -- can you farm?'

Ah, well. Maybe someone will go one up and put me in a management position over a help desk or a desktop support team. I'd be okay with that. At least then I'd know something about what the team is supposed to be doing. That would be a step ahead of most management I've worked for... and three or four steps ahead of headhunters that don't seem to know what desktop support is!

~TS

PS: If I made you jones for some old Hedberg, here's the bit my quote was from: Mitch Hedberg in Hollywood

Job Hunting - Beware of Scams!

T-minus sixteen days and counting. That's how long I have until I am laid off from my current job. I have updated the resume, uploaded it to all the usual websites (Monster, CareerBuilder, Dice), started contacting old work buddies on LinkedIn, and been doing the usual job of finding a job.

Every time I've done this in the past, I have seen the occassional obvious scams. I was once contacted via chat for a "money mule" and check fraud scam, but that was back in the late 90s and early 00s. I still see a lot of work-from-home scams... and that really sucks because I would LOVE to work from home! I'm not sure how my desktop support skills would translate to staying home all day and getting paid, but that would be awesome.

Unfortunately, it's that attitude right there that scammers are looking to exploit. That's not the only target, but it seems to be pretty common. I've been seeing a lot of obvious work-from-home job listings on the various job sites that are obvious scams. Since I've started looking again recently, I've also noticed a new (to me, anyway) scam: targeted links to malware sites! "Go register on our site to see if you can have a job!" Checking the WhoIs for a site will tell you who registered it and how long ago.  A sure sign of a scam site is a very recently created page.

I'm not going to put up specific links (just in case you're stupid enough to click on one) and I'm not going to name the "companies" that are sending these messages (just in case I'm wrong about specific companies or in case scammers are using legit company names for their nefarious attacks) but I will describe for you what I've been seeing. Hopefully, it will help you from becoming a target of one of these scams yourself.

Since I've uploaded my resume with my email address to a few sites, the one email I'm receiving the most is about a "construction job" that is work-from-home. Apparently, I could use my "construction experience" to order equipment and deal with local contractors for them. The problem is I don't have any construction experience beyond building things with Lego Mindstorms! These guys are persistent, too. I have received a couple of emails that were reminding me to get in contact with them and referencing the original email. They always have a link to a website where I must go to apply for the job, and they never have a legitimate Reply-To email address. Watch out for that one. Do NOT go to the website!

More recently I received a text message about a job. I guess these scammers just glean through resumes for phone numbers and then send text message spam out to every one. The message I received:

Hi Theo, based on your resume, you match a job I'm filling. Register at jobscam.com* and we can discuss it if you're interested. ~ 512-809-2631**

*Not the actual website (don't want to link them in case of click-by malware)
** This is the actual phone number. Calling it back got me a rather professional sounding voice-mail also instructing me to register at the website. Maybe it is legit... but I doubt it.

As I mentioned before, I'd really like to work from home. I can type insanely fast. I have an okay internet connection. I have a few computers, one of which I could dedicate to a job. But even the "legitimate" sites that I have talked to people about, the ones that are supposedly good at placing you with work... they still charge! WTF?! That is a classic scam manuver there. If someone is giving you a job and charging you to place you, you are getting scammed. In fact, if any job asks you for money up front, fucking flee!

I will post more as I see it. Forewarned is forearmed!
~TS

Do We Go On Three or After Three?

Shit, it's been over a month! Where does the time go? Actually, I know exactly where it goes. I have an idea for a blog to write, but when I sit down to write it... it's more fun just to play a game or fuck around on Facebook or something else. This is exactly the same thing that keeps me from getting any drawing done.

I've actually been pretty busy lately. I just finished a class in Linux. (Know anyone hiring entry-level Linux admin?!) I've been working on my webcomic... and actually getting stuff written and drawn! I've updated the resume and been applying for jobs. And I've been doing a lot of playing games, fucking around on Facebook, and other stuffs.

I haven't decided if I want to start showing off parts of my webcomic before it's ready to actually publish (and that's going to take a while!) but I did some other artwork that I can show you. Recently I hit a bit of writer's block on my webcomic, but I wanted to keep drawing. I put up a poll on my Facebook profile with a list of possible subjects. Out of all the options, the one with the largest cast of characters won! I'm going to be drawing the cast of Joss Whedon's Firefly. So far I have the pencils of Mal, Zoe and Jayne done.

Mal sketch

Zoe sketch

A better face for Zoe

Jayne sketch

Detail on Vera

I'm not really happy with them just yet. I'm going to redo Mal completely. I'm pretty happy with Zoe's body, but I don't think I've captured her face just yet. I have one sketch of her face where I was closer... but still not quite there. Jayne is the one I'm happiest with so far. I _LOVE_ the way Vera came out. Reference material is always a good thing.

Once it sank in that I promised my Facebook friends that I'd be drawing NINE CHARACTERS... I couldn't quite make myself start on the next one. Three down, six to go... and I hit another mental roadblock. I wasn't happy enough with the first three to start on another one. Still, I didn't want to stop drawing, so I did a really quick sketch of the kid from Vault 101. I gave him Vault-Boy hair and a Nuka-Cola Quantum. Then I used him to warm myself back up with Windows and Photoshop. Here's the drawing in stages (with some reference material):

A first sketch with reference material. I love that gun-over-the-shoulder pose!

I figured out what to do with the left hand. Just for the record, I hate drawing hands almost as much as I hate figuring out what to do with hands!

A finished sketch with the laser rifle for reference. It looks weird with his fingers coming through the circular holes if you don't already know the gun has holes there...

I ink it's almost done! ;)

Two hours of playing around in Photoshop got me this. Not too shabby, but I could probably do a lot better. Still, it kept me drawing something!

Yeah, so my Photoshop coloring technique isn't so great. I need to find a few tutorials to go through. If you know of any good ones, comment with a link below. I'd appreciate it, and the Firefly crew will look much better for it, too!

So, I have either twenty-nine or thirty days until I am officially unemployed... depending on the way you count it. My last day at my job is June 30th. Along with my usual stuff, you may see quite a bit of job-hunting stuff here. I plan on using this as a place to vent, so I hope you don't mind.

I have updated my resume and such on Monster and CareerBuilder, and this will be the first time I get to use LinkedIn as a job-hunting tool. So far, I've only been contacted by head-hunters. I don't see why they contact someone with about a decade of experience as a desktop PC support technician when all they have is help desk positions. I don't know... maybe one of these days very soon I'll be desperate enough to take a help desk position, but I'll be avoiding six month contracts for as long as I can.

I surprised one head-hunter (and myself) when he asked if I wanted to know anything else about his company by asking if they were hiring recruiters like him. He said they usually look for more of a business background than a technical background, and then he noticed that my recently acquired degree is business... so he's going to forward that along to his HR department. I don't know if I'd enjoy being a technical recruiter, but it would be different from desktop support. I am getting a bit tired of desktop support, but it's the only skill I have that pays anything decent. Seems like just about anything else I'd have to take a few steps back in pay.

And why the fuck are all the good jobs in Addison, Carrollton or Richardson?! Gah! There have got to be more good companies in the mid-cities area. *sighs*

But for all this effort, it'll probably be some company that contacts me directly that I end up going with. The current job and my last job both contacted me directly after finding my resume on Monster. I just can't depend on that, though. Even though I know I'm going to put a ton of effort into this job hunt just to have someone find me... nope, can't think that way. Gotta keep looking.

Anybody have any idea what a tech-savvy dude like me with about a decade of experience in desktop support, two years of low-level Linux and Windows server admin, a decent bit of Photoshop experience, and an associate's degree in business can do _besides_ desktop support? I'd love to hear a few suggestions...

T-minus 30 days and counting!

~TS